Snuggle Time with Aquatic Mammals
by fyren galan
Summary: Draco is feeling poorly. Harry knows a way to cheer him up: see title. Slash, crack!fic. Cowritten with BeebeeThurlow.
1. Snuggle Time with Aquatic Mammals

So, you should go read BeebeeThurlow's stories, because they're epic. Go do it, after you read this. :]

**WARNING: **slash, some language, inexplicit mentioning of sex, crack!fic

Snuggle Time with Aquatic Mammals

Harry and Draco snuggled up together on the single couch, each nuzzling close to the other for warmth. Being the middle of winter, it was beginning to grow cold earlier in the day. Harry blinked as he realized that Draco was shivering rather heavily, and then sneezed several times in quick succession.

"Aww... is my poor baby ill?" Harry murmured, gently stroking the back of his hand over Draco's cheek, smiling softly as Draco turned large, miserable eyes up at him.

Draco nodded pathetically, snuffling sadly like a pig that has realized its trough is empty. Harry felt a pang in his chest watching Draco's pert nose turn an unattractive shade of red.

Instead of doing something sensible, like casting a Warming Charm, or whipping up a cup of cocoa, Harry decided to do something that would warm the cockles' of Draco's heart, instead of heating his physical body.

"Would you like to watch Albert the Baby Seal Saves the Arctic?" he asked.

At the mention of his favourite movie, Draco smiled, nodding and struggling to sit upright as he sneezed again. "Yes... yes please..." he mumbled, his voice sounding muffled from his cold, and as Harry went to find the DVD, he settled down further on the couch, looking forward to the evening ahead.

oOo

"No, Albert!" Draco cried desperately at the screen. "Don't risk your prized collection of ice chips for a measly piece of fish! It's not fucking worth it! Henry the Snow Fox will just cheat you, anyway!"

Harry pulled Draco gently back onto the couch. "Shh…" he whispered. "It's alright. Albert is a smart seal; he knows what he's doing."

Draco bobbed his head up and down sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Harry. I just get so damn worked up during my favourite movie."

Harry patted Draco's back. "It's okay. Just sit back and enjoy the rest of the adventure."

oOo

"Yay! We saved the Arctic!" Draco cheered along with Albert, Timmy the Polar Bear, Jimmy the Walrus, and Slimmy the Narwhal.

Harry smiled tenderly down at Draco, and placed a kiss on the side of his head. Draco was always horny after he watched this movie. Illness or no illness, Harry was going to get shagged like a seal later on.

Draco exclaimed happily, "That's my favourite line in the entire movie! It has such depth, such meaning, such pathos!"

He moved his body abruptly and pecked Harry on the lips.

Then promptly sneezed all over Harry's face.

oOo

_Five Days Later_

Harry pouted pitifully, his watery green eyes fixed firmly on the blank television screen and certainly _not_ on Draco.

Draco sighed, once again looking remarkably handsome and not pathetic.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to sneeze on your face. It just… happened," he said regretfully.

Harry, who was in the mood to be snarky, replied spitefully, "That's what they all say. Go away. I don't want to be contaminated by your stupid bloody healthiness."

Draco's lip twitched. He exhaled dramatically, and said, "I suppose you don't want _this_, then."

Draco brought out the object he had been hiding behind his back.

Harry shot straight up, and grabbed for it eagerly.

"Oh, Draco! I love you! You got my favorite movie!" he cried in gratitude, as Draco put the DVD on.

Draco walked over and sat on the couch, and they snuggled together as the credits for _Slimmy the Narwhal Who Saved Christmas Eve_ started playing.

oOo

A/N: Beebee basically wrote the first part, and I just kind of added on to it.

I know I said I would never write a story where they aren't equals. Therefore, they're both freakishly weird girly men. :]


	2. I Spoke Horticulturally

I Spoke Horticulturally

"How could you get Harry sick the day before his book signing?" Hermione shouted furiously, advancing upon a cowering Draco.

"He's got an immune system like a tree!" Draco cried defensively, batting her swinging fists away from his head.

"Trees don't have immune systems, you twat!" she growled.

He smiled in triumph. "Exactly! They're immune to everything!"

Hermione stared at him. "Except for people cutting them down…"

Draco turned away with a muttered "damn."

oOo

A/N: Kudos to anyone who gets the reference in the title. I will seriously love you forever if you do.


End file.
